Tuesday, April 19, 2011


My friend,
As you sit with your mom during these last few days of her long life touch cord deep in my heart. You may not recognize it now but trust me when I tell you that these final days and hours with you are are the finest gift you can give her - and that she gives to you. To be able to sit quietly next to her, stroke her hair, hold her hand, put your arms around her and bring her close to your heart is giving her the strength and tools she needs to die with love and dignity. She's feeling your love and your devotion and that's bringing gentle comfort and easing any pain she might have. Just as she comforted you as a child, so too, are you caressing her and letting her know how much you love her. It is your finest hour in all the many years you've spent loving each other.

And for you .... she's giving you a special gift by her long goodbye. My mom died years ago of a cerebral hemmorage and was dead when she collapsed to the floor after a full, active day. The suddenness and unexpectedness of it was a deep and fracturing wrench in my heart and has left a void that can never be filled. I never had the wonderful chance to say goodbye, I couldn't hold her hand, stroke her hair, comfort her with soothing tones. A day doesn't go by when I don't think about this wonderful woman. I am just now beginning to recognize those thoughts as a blessing from her because she will remain with me always. You and your mom are connected in a magical, mystical way because of these final days. Embrace every minute of them and hold them close forever.

You are both in my prayers.


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