April 5th - D = Death and Dying The tears flowed freely down her cheeks . She drew in a deep breath and mumbled to me, “I just can’t do this any longer. It’s killing me and I feel so useless. If only there was something I could do.” I covered her shaking hand with mine and replied, “I hope you’ll listen carefully to what I’m going to say. It’s important for both you and your mom.” I began to speak and gazed into her sad tortured eyes and said softly, “Ah my friend, watching you sit beside your mom during these last few days of her long life touches a cord deep in my heart. You may not recognize it now but trust me when I tell you that these final days and hours with you are the finest gift you can give her and her finest gift to you as well. To be able to sit quietly next to her, stroke her hair, hold her hand, put your arms around her and bring her close to your heart is giving her the strength and tools she needs to die with love and dignity. Dying is hard work and your mom is clearly very tired. Her body is working really hard to accomplish this final task yet her mind and senses can remain calm and at peace. She needs your support now more than ever. She's feeling your love and devotion and that's bringing gentle comfort to her tired body. Your presence along this final leg of her journey is some kind of miraculous salve that eases any pain she might have. She can feel your gentle strokes and your strong arms holding and guiding her. Just as she caressed your hurts as a child too are you comforting her now by letting her know how much you love her. It is your finest hour in all the many years you've spent loving each other. And she’s giving you a special gift with her long goodbye. My mom died years ago of a cerebral hemorrhage and was dead when she collapsed to the floor after a full, active day. The suddenness and unexpectedness of it caused a deep and fracturing crack in my heart . It has left a void that can never be filled. I never had the chance to say goodbye. I couldn't hold her hand, stroke her hair, and comfort her with soothing tones. I know it’s impossible to feel peace during these awful days but they will become treasured memories in the days ahead. A day won’t go by when you won’t think about this wonderful woman and these thoughts will be blessings from her as she pops in and out of your mind. Her unexpected “visits” every now and then will help you through the bad times. You and your mom are connected in a magical, mystical way because of these final days. Embrace every one of them and hold them close forever. “